You turn onto your side, and you see her on her computer, logged on to facebook, surfing through pictures of this pretty girl you both met recently.

Your heart clenches, sinks slightly, and you burrow deeper under the covers, telling yourself not to worry, it's nothing.

A friend recently told me this story of a wedding ceremony in Hong Kong. All the guests were seated waiting for the wedding video to begin. (You know, the one with childhood photos and cheesy holiday snaps telling the couple's life story.) So, the music begins, and the first slide that comes up is of a naked shot of the bridegroom. The next, a naked shot of the bridesmaid. The third, a shot of the two copulating. The bride then took to the stage and said that the wedding was over, and they could go back to the reception and collect the angpaos they gave.

What makes a cheating heart? What is it about that crazy, insane rush that makes people risk losing all they have with someone they (thought they) loved?

Is the cheap thrill worth it? Maybe it’s insecurity. Maybe they never really loved their partner. Maybe what there was something lacking in their relationship, that they had to find in someone else. Maybe cheating appeals to a deep primal instinct, based on emotion and lust, and a complete disregard of societal rules. Maybe it is possible to be in love with two people at the same time.

Trust is a thorny issue. It could make or break a relationship. Some partners you know would never cheat on you, because it’s not in their personality to do so. With others, you stay wary of their promiscuous heart.

I disagreed with one of my exes vehemently on her definition of cheating. For her, cheating with the heart is a lot worse than cheating with the body. So she could forgive me if I slept with someone else, but would never forgive me if I got to know someone and liked her. I, on the other hand, felt that crushes are quite a natural thing, and that it would wreck me if I found her in bed with someone else.

There are no quick and easy answers for negotiating the tangled terrain of the female heart. Love hard, and love well. At the end of it, even if you walk away heart torn and ego bruised, at least you can say that you have lived. Pick up the shards gingerly, bury them in the graveyard of your heart, and walk on.

About Halfwild
An acid-tongued hedonist who occasionally trips on reality, she has weird habits like cussing in French, finishing off boxes of cherry tomatoes and regressing into a four year old when drunk.

Party with the drama queen at This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it .